the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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