so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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