dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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