Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
