I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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