I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
