I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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