You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
