I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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