haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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