where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I have already put on my inside pants.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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