Sponge bath it is.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
