Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
