i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just got carded by a ten year old.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
