Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize