so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
