I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
