Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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