Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
two words: eviction party
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
