We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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