Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
