ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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