Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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