I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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