dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
