He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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