My brain says no but my pants say off.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
