he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
