I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
