can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
