youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
