he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
