Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
