Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
