so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
