If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
