He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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