I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
