Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
