that's an acceptable place to lick
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
