Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
