Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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