she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
