Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Randomize
