Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
