Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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