Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
