NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
