There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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