FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
