I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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