Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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