We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Houston, we have a squirter
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
