I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
