I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Randomize
