Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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