I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
