you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
