He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
